EFT, Boundaries, and Bank Balances: What Actually Helped Me Hold More Money
My Old Money Story: Struggle, Avoidance, and Scarcity
Money for me was a struggle my entire life — I lived week-to-week, never had savings, would spend money almost the moment it came in (or even beforehand), and only ever had “enough”, not surplus or overflow. I felt I lacked education and intelligence around finances, was never guided by peers, and had no idea where to start in teaching myself.
As a child, money was taboo, private, and a negative topic to speak on as a child. I grew up with separated parents, and both sides gave me a scarcity mindset around abundance. From the age of 3, I remember being told how expensive child support was and that it could barely be afforded, that the other parent didn’t value the payments or spend it on me how they should, that a parent had to work 7 days a week ‘just to put food on the table’, even when I stared school I lost my sport jacket in winter but just had to go without until the following month when my single mum could afford it. I remember being around 7 or 8 years old when we got a new puppy, and, curious about money and learning to understands it’s value in the world and how it works, I asked how much the dog cost. I was quickly shut down, told it was rude to ask how much something cost, and that money was private. Of course there was always the price of petrol that cost a parent so much when they had to drive me between my two homes (which I took on as my fault, even at 5 years old, parents please take note that your little ones soak up so much of your burdens and put it upon themselves), the air conditioner being a very special occasion to have on, always having quick showers to not waste water and to turn all the lights off to save electricity, that just about most of us grew up with too.
For me, I was quickly learning that money = feelings of guilt, shame, scarcity, judgement, oppression, privacy, hoarding, scrounging, and lack of safety.
Yet from such a young age, I would look into my deep blue wishing stones, see the shimmer inside the glass when I held it to the sunlight, and feel deeply within me that the shimmer was my future riches, my treasure, my birthright, just waiting for me. I inherently felt and knew I would have immense money one day. It was so conflicting to be growing up in this world where money was oppressive and suffocating, yet at the same time feeling the abundance within my heart and knowing what was true for me. I just had to bridge the gap between what I was being told, and what I knew to be true.
The Turning Point: Realising My Relationship With Money Needed Healing
As I started my spiritual journey at 20, I also started to learn the concept that money = energy. I did the ‘opulence’ course inside of To Be Magnetic and learned a lot about the origins of my money story, going deeply into what you’ve just read about my childhood. Then I uncovered a little more about my relationship with money, during my first experience being coached. During a discovery call with a manifestation coach, who used kinesiology (muscle testing), we found that I “don’t feel safe having money”.
But awareness doesn’t equal healing.
How the hell do you make yourself feel safe with money?! I pondered this question for years to follow, blindly trying to figure it out on my own and seek answers. I read all the money mindset books, did the journal prompts, did an EFT session around it and uncovered more, but I still wasn’t finding answers on how to fix it. I was recognising patterns, behaviours, and traits I had with money, noticing how I was blocking it or hitting an income ceiling which was all so powerful, but I was still just making the same amount each month even though I worked on commission and had an uncapped income potential, and was taking home the exact same amount for years on end no matter what career path I was in.
Here’s the reality of what my life was like:
Only putting $30 of petrol into my car instead of filling it up
Going food shopping and literally counting up and calculating all of my groceries because I only had $30 in my account (that was a rock bottom moment)
Putting my car service off for months after it was due because I just didn’t have the money to spare
Only ever paying rego for 6 months at a time instead of a year
Always choosing the ‘monthly’ payment option instead of ‘annual’ (man do they add up)
Frequently receiving bank notifications and emails that a payment had failed
Maybe you see yourself in some of these experiences too… 💭
And don’t get me wrong, in my 20’s I had incredible experiences, travelled the whole world, lived quite freely, did whatever I felt called to do, moved wherever my heart was called to and made it work, but at the end of the day I didn’t have a safety net, I lived week to week just scraping by, and I wasn’t able to save or invest as I’d like to, and one day buying my own house instead of just renting was certainly off the cards. I also held a lot of shame around how much money I had in my account when I entered long term serious relationships, and never felt comfortable discussing money or agreeing to having a shared account.
I started recognising that money was of my biggest blocks and ‘things to heal’ in this lifetime, and it would be something I would in turn help others with once I worked through my own (enter: Subconscious Wealth years later 😉), so I kept on my journey, waiting for the way to heal to be revealed in its right timing.
Uncovering My Attachment Style Around Money
I decided to face the music and start making actual moves towards what I’d been hiding from. Knowing that the energy of love and money are directly correlated, I felt drawn towards looking into my attachment style in love, which would in turn uncover my attachment style with money too. I read the book “Attached” and recognised my attachment style — avoidant — which matched perfectly with my relationship to finances.
Once you know your attachment style, you can’t unknow, so I actively chose to lean into the discomfort and do things that called me out on my avoidance and forced me to move and make changes instead. I wanted to become secure with both love and money, and I knew that healing one would assist in healing the other so I started the practices broken down below.
If you’re curious to learn more about this, we go real deep into attachment theory and money, with an entire lesson in Subconscious Wealth — “Attachment Styles & Your Relationship to Money” that covers everything you need to know. I’ve personally walked this path, the long way around with all corners, twists and details covered, so that you can be provided the short cut of exactly what you need to heal. Let my experience and research be your own quantum leap to making immense shifts in your own life.
Shift Your Money Mindset From Frugal to Flowing
I’m not one for budgeting, chasing discount codes or coupons, calculating how much each meal costs with the goals of mostly cooking meals under $10, joining budgeting or price hack Facebook groups or instagram accounts. I like nice things. High quality clothes, high quality furniture, high quality food.
And I believe scarcity is a mindset that people subscribe to and consume.
I encourage you to unsubscribe to scarcity money mindset programming and behaviours if they are limiting your expansiveness and making you feel constricted. These are things like frugalness, intensive budgeting, tightly restricting and limiting your costs, and not allowing joy and expansion. Yes it’s healthy to track your finances, have an allocated budget for bills and expenses — that’s sensible and encouraged — but I just want to evoke your awareness of what beliefs you are taking in and what stories you are subscribing to. I’ve had to leave facebook groups and unfollow financial instagram accounts because they were only sharing the increased costs of living, how buying a house is just about impossible for our generation, as well as the increased cost of renting, how unlikely investment opportunities are for us and just overall how expensive life is.
And I get that, because I see it on my shopping receipts and in my bank account and on the property market.
I’m well aware.
But I don’t want it to be the only messaging I’m told, over and over, about how we’re all poor and can’t afford a thing. I personally choose not to subscribe to that, because once our mind attaches to a story, it will then look for proof that it’s true (thanks reticular activating system (RAS)), and I believe I am able to buy my own home (and others) without taking on someone elses word that it’s too challenging.
So, eat the fish and spit out the bones. Mute and unfollow as you see fit.
Practical Systems That Shifted My Financial Reality
Here’s how you get your head out of the sand, face your reality, start behaving like an adult, and make changes in your life. The practical side of it.
BUDGET TRACKER
My love, click this link right now and download it. I wish it were an affiliate link so I was paid for referrals, but alas it is just shared purely from love and support of your financial growth 😂💕 This stops you from putting your head in the sand and cultivates awareness. How much did you spend on petrol last month? On pets? On groceries, or eating out, or entertainment? If you don’t know, then you can’t improve, and how can you expect to be abundant when you haven’t the slightest clue how much your monthly subscriptions total to? If you feel heightened when you think or talk about money, maybe you get a lump in your throat, chest feels tight and constricted, heart rate increases a little, you’re not breathing as deeply as you were a minute earlier, then you need to practice feeling safe with money. As you fill out your expenses for the day (because you’ll be doing at the end of each day, non-negotiable unless you had a zero spend day), sit in a calm space, having calm music on really helps (I love https://www.youtube.com/live/2-LC8PVYaa0?si=Ab8M0JjQ5AErTrb3), and recognise when your heart starts to race or you feel that bodily discomfort. Pause. Breathe into it. Hold yourself in a hug whilst taking deep breaths and state “I am safe”. Continue. Do this for a few weeks and you’ll start finding yourself in anticipation to fill out your spreadsheet, because it’s exciting to now feel empowered when it comes to your finances, you’re significantly building self-trust whilst filling it out and showing up for yourself each day, and you’ve cultivated safety and regulation whilst doing something that previously made you immensely heightened. This is how you heal. Now go freakin’ download it.
CALENDAR FOR BILLS
This is a game changer and must-have for every human: have a digital calendar for every single bill you pay each month — rent, phone, internet, electricity, payments for education or coaching, subscription apps, anything and everything so you have a visual of what’s coming up. Some of my income payments are fortnightly, some weekly, some monthly, and it’s empowering to be able to have a visual of what’s coming up and when, so you know if you have a higher expense week coming up (maybe phone and electricity bills land in the same week) or if you have extra to put aside.
First, write up a document of every single payment you have, how much it is, when it’s due and how often it reoccurs. I do this about every 6 months to keep on top of whats going out, and just use the same Google Doc each time as I find it interesting to look back on previous expenses over the years and how much they’ve changed.
Write up your document, then transfer the info into a google or apple calendar. If you’re already thinking “ugh, I can’t be bothered, this is too much” then darl, don’t ever expect to become rich. Most people think they’ll start managing their money once the money comes to them. But that’s backwards — the money will come to you once you start managing it.
Make your calendar, then every time you receive a notification of a bill (such as your monthly phone bill) via text or email, enter the date it’s due with the amount into your calendar.
BANK ACCOUNTS — WORK SMARTER NOT HARDER
Automation. As a Projector in Human Design, working smarter not harder is my main motto. Setting up your accounts with direct debits and automation is setting up the masculine structure for you to be supported. Now, I’m no financial advisor by any means, but you gotta have the basics. Here’s my personal experience of what works for me.
CASH HUB — This is where all of your income goes into, which you then divvy up into the other accounts (I also use this for smaller things like Netflix, Spotify, gym membership, and just always keep $100 in there)
BILLS — Now you have your calculations, automate the exact amount that needs to go into your bills account each week/fortnight (whenever you are paid). When you’re paid, check your bills calendar, and put the amount you have coming up within that pay cycle into your bills account, and ensure you’ve got direct debit set up as a payment method for whatever possible. I also have a bills debit card for payments that only take card, to come out of this account
DAILY EXPENSES & SAVINGS — These go into a whole seperate bank account (personally for me, cash hub and bills is with ING, daily expenses and savings are with Ubank). This money is what’s left from your cash hub after divvying up and paying bills first.
Of course there’s more to go into for savings and investments, but go buy a finance book such as The Barefoot Investor or the women’s money books for that advice 🤍 These foundational accounts are the masculine structure that saves you time, energy and stress because you know it’s taken care of. Allow yourself to be supported, put in the effort once by auditing all your bills and expenses (it will only take an hour or two to be set up for the year) and it will lift so much pressure off your shoulders. Here’s your little taster of masculine support that money shows up as. Go tidy up your accounts now.
OTHER TIPS
Again, not financial advice and just my personal experience, but when I was buried in debt about 5 years ago, I consolidated all of my loans into one and just smashed it out. Car loan, a couple of personal loans, a travel credit card, just bits and pieces I had everywhere, all consolidated into the one. It’s much easier to achieve a goal when you have one number to focus on and really drive into.
Another tip is that if you do have AfterPay or any other ‘pay as you go’ payment debts or tools, pay it all as soon you are paid. Eg. if you are paid fortnightly, the morning you are paid, log into the AfterPay portal and pay all upcoming payments for the next two weeks. That way you’re not taken by surprise when you’re at the end of your pay cycle and have your last $50 taken out of your account for an AfterPay payment. Start taking charge of your finances, and take back the reins of control. You don’t want to feel sideswiped by an energy that is here to support you.
EFT Tapping & Deep Inner Work: Rewiring My Nervous System
Here’s the work that truly started making big shifts in my every day life. Once waking up to myself and being determined to get my head out of the sand, implement positive habits (and full transparency, there were times where I fell off the bandwagon and didn’t do my budget tracker for a whole month, but I hated how it felt — the shame and guilt of letting myself down, the loss of control of knowing if my finances improved that month, even letting myself down professionally too because I didn’t bother to track my business’ income that month — yikes), and staying on my path to prosperity, I decided to dive back into my money story with new awareness and now equipped with tools such as neuroscience, EFT, NLP, and somatic healing, to actually implement change.
I coached myself for weeks on end around money, found what had healed over the years, and what I hadn’t been able to shake, and anything else of significance I had missed. I found the underlying core, the lack of safety, the emotions associated with it. And all of this coaching is available for you inside Subconscious Wealth, too. I’ve done the work and now hand you the keys 🗝️✨
After deep diving, I created my own custom EFT script to recognise the wounds and fears, acknowledge them, and let myself know that I am safe and choose differently. Many of you saw my daily stories of my EFT tapping morning and night, responded “I need this!” and I’d hand it over to you all instantly if it were the personalised script for your life. But it’s not, it has the statements I personally need to hear from my own wounding and past, and the empowering statements that trigger something deeply in my heart, that connects me to my power and my drive to keep moving forward and keep expanding myself financially.
I’ve included EFT tapping in Subconscious Wealth (and guided meditations, and deep dive money journaling, and neuroscience and NLP work), to my very best ability to be able to serve as many people as possible, as deeply as I can in a collective way. But if you want your own personalised EFT tapping script and guided video, join me in Limitless Self where clients receive this after weeks of getting to know you and your story, or join me in pocket coaching where we can focus on your money story for the day and then create a script.
I worked with this singular EFT tapping practice for weeks on end. After only one week, it was already taking effect. I was sent a significant amount of money, and I didn’t have fear around holding it for the first time in my life. Then double that amount came in. Then that amount again, four days later. Then I was also offered an opportunity for very simple, easy and aligned work on the side that fits my genius and gifts, with a consistent weekly income on top of all I was already receiving (which I of course said yes to). It’s beautiful to witness how money can just show up for you in ways you both can expect and couldn’t imagine, just by opening yourself to receiving more.
Some self-sabotage crept in, because it’s not familiar at first to hold worth, and suddenly you’re thinking “I should buy a new TV!” or “I’ll finally book in that $500 hair refresh” or “maybe now is the time for me to get botox over my entire forehead”… but you just sit and breathe through those moments, allow them to pass, and keep expanding your capacity to hold the money and call in more. It really is quite marvellous to witness the dramatic shift once you start to expand your nervous system in being comfortable with holding more, and the ways your mind starts coming up with new inspiration for ways for money to come in, and creating what I like to call ‘money portals’ (more in Subconscious Wealth).
This all expanded my capacity to receive more money, and hold more money. It goes much deeper, but for the sake of not turning this blog post into a short novel, it was EFT and somatic practices that expanded my capacity to receive, that increased my window of tolerance and made me feel safe to have money for the first time in my life, paired with the mindset work, creating a holistic approach. There’s also the neurological awareness about recognising how my brain and body reacts and responds, being able to catch it and witness it, knowing exactly what’s happening that aids in the process too. I highly recommend the book “Rewired” as one of the (many) resources to help you with this.
From Scarcity to Overflow: A New Financial Identity.
Again for the sake of this not becoming a novel, here are other tips and tools that aided in my financial (and personal) expansion:
Embodying my feminine essence and practicing the art of receiving — in all areas of life, but particularly with men and financially (this topic is covered in Abundance Alchemy)
Saying YES to money opportunities, responding to leads (instead of being scared by them), selling with authority, using my voice for the first time in my life, being unapologetically authentic in what I share and say — this all came from increasing my self worth, knowing my messaging and purpose, and unapologetically stepping into who I am meant to be in this lifetime.
Doing my NLP course and doing empowering practices such as contrastive analysis and mapping across to step into my true potential (NLP techniques are included in Subconscious Wealth ❤️🔥)
No longer convincing or persuading — that energy is yuck and it repels. But previously I didn’t know any other way. Now, I let leads know that if they want to work with me, here’s the link. I’m not here to tell them why they need to work with me or what outcomes they’ll receive. They already know that. My energy shows it, my content showcases my skillset and my passion, my client results reflect true impact. I actually believe in myself and my leads can feel that and buy from me.
Being so authentically myself that I’m happy to repel the people who I piss off. I use my voice, I’m rebellious, I’m different, I’m covered in tattoos,I don’t follow the status quo. I’m no longer hiding those parts of me to make others comfortable. I’m no longer palatable. The people who are repelled by that? They’re not for me. They’re not going to pay me. My people recognise my qualities, gifts and values, and want to throw their money at me so I’m on their side and can give them my talent and expertise. They see me and want into my world.
Investing in a business coach to show the universe I’m ready to level tf up and take my purpose seriously (scary jump, whole lotta money, big risk, but even if it doesn’t work out (impossible, she’s brilliant) at least I have put my intention out there by investing in myself and my growth)
MOVING. Keep on moving. Stagnancy is suffocating, and you have to be able to show up for yourself and your business and in turn your finances, even when you don’t feel like it. Momentum creates confidence. It builds evidence. And that evidence rewires your belief system. One tiny action becomes a ripple effect. When you keep showing up, when you commit to your expansion, when you move, you teach your nervous system that it’s safe to grow, to shift, to step into something greater. Feel the fear and move anyway.
I have spent years untangling my money story — from childhood wounds and emotional patterns to practical systems and powerful energetic shifts. This journey wasn’t linear, and it wasn’t overnight. It took awareness, tools, commitment, and a deep desire to feel safe, empowered, and expansive with money. I stayed dedicated to this path because I felt it in my soul since I was little that abundance was on my timeline. Waiting for me to step in and claim it.
If you’ve seen yourself in any part of my story, know that change is possible. Your relationship with money can shift. You can move from scarcity to overflow — and you don’t have to do it alone.
Subconscious Wealth was created from every step I took along this path — so that you don’t have to take the long way around. The tools, the rewiring, the practices — they’re all inside. If you’re ready to begin your own transformation, I’d be honoured to guide you there.
