My journey started at 20 years old. Up until then, I had no life direction, no interests or inspirations, envious of people who had found their passion in "fitness and PT" and doing something with themselves, whilst I was there wondering how the hell do you find that spark...

​

I experienced depression from the age of 14, with divorced parents, an unhealthy dynamic within my stepfamily, being bullied at school, no sense of direction, and no emotional support to guide me through these events and occurrences. Without going too deep into other traumatic life experiences that followed, at 19 I had a feeling of complete numbness, lack of identity and worth, constant dark thoughts, and ended up attempting suicide. 

​

I guess 19 wasn't supposed to be the end of my story though. 

​

A few months later, I stayed in Noosa, QLD for a few months. Taking my own life hadn't worked, and it also hadn't scared me enough to not do it again, but I did feel a new, tiny spark within me that said "there is more to life than 9-5". Deep, deep down within me, I could feel that there was so much more potential to experience and feel within this lifetime. 

​

Mum sent me up a care package, which included 2 books from a local crystal shop: "The Power Of Now" and "Happy For No Reason". I picked up the latter first, and it instantly and dramatically set off a chain of events to alter my life path. Now, "Happy For No Reason" isn't really a bestseller or even well-known in the spiritual and conscious community. Content wise, for reference, it's the earlier equivalent to "Think Like A Monk" by Jay Shetty. But this book made its way to my hands for the exact moment it was needed. Now, I'm a very logical person. In Human Design, I have a defined head and ajna, which are energy centres all about ideas, inspiration, thoughts, beliefs, solution-based thinking, logic. I also predominantly have earth placements in my astrology chart, again very logical rather than spiritual, creative, "woo-woo". And this book was perfect because it gave options and examples of mindful and spiritual practices, but then it also gave the scientific research as to why they work. 

​

I dove in. And 10 years later, I haven't come up for air since. 

​

I made notes of all the book recommendations and authors within that book, and read those. I found a spiritual life coach, Melissa Ambrosini (much smaller at that time!) and bought her meditations. The forgiveness meditation actually alleviated my depression. I read "The Power Of Now" and had my perspective on ego shifted, which anyone who knows, knows. I went to my first MindBodySpirit Festival and was so immensely lit up and excited about so many topics and areas there. I bought about 5 books that day. I casually studied Buddhism (something I was introduced to by my Pa, and actually deemed myself as Buddhist too when I was a kid because I loved learning about them and meditation) and was inspired by their way of living - purely of love and kindness. I journaled frequently, exploring more of my mind. I took up in-person yoga classes, feeling the divine connection between body and mind, and I started exploring esoteric and personality systems...

​

Numerology told me I am a master number 33 - the master teacher. 

Astrology told me my north node is in Sagittarius - the guide, teacher, leader. 

Human Design told me I am a Projector and here to guide and lead. 

It became laughable that the universe was literally shouting my life purpose at me.

​

I could so strongly feel within me that I am here to do big sh*t. But I felt limited. I felt like I was hitting a roof, trying to break through it but unable. I had all of this potential inside me, waiting to be unleashed... 

​

So I ended my (very unhealthy) relationship of 5 years. I quit my very safe and secure job in travel and marketing, I handed the keys in to my house. And I moved back to Jervis Bay, to heal, grow, expand. 

​

I probably felt a loss of identity when I did leave all of this behind, because during this process I went through a period where I was afraid to show this side of myself to the world, even though I had been immersed in it for a few years. "The world" being my fairly insignificant instagram following; people from high school who's names I certainly would have forgotten had it not been clearly marked on their profile, cousins I haven't spoken to in a decade, my soon-to-be-ex's mates who I knew would talk shit about me in their glorious group chat of degrading women. But there's a part of me that finds a thrill in being different, going against the norm, making people think differently and ask questions. So I just started openly sharing my journey, and happened to really inspire people by doing so. It's like looking at the fear vs. the impact, and somehow by me following what lights me up, just started to attract like-minded people who wanted to do that too. So began my instagram, and this blog!

​

I was 25 now. And I spent the next year diving deeper into my soul than I ever had before. I did the To Be Magnetic program for the whole year (my discount code is CAITLIN1924 if you'd like to join too!), working on my inner child, shadow work, limiting beliefs and conditioning, doing hypnotherapy and rewiring neural pathways, becoming innately clear on what my desires were in all areas of my life. This 12 months was a quantum leap in my spiritual and personal development path. 

​

Then I moved to the Gold Coast. I'd always been drawn up north, either to Byron or the Coast, initially because of how kind the people up there are. They strike a conversation with you, with pure intentions of just being friendly and connecting. They wave when you stop at a crossing for them. People actually smile! And now, having lived there for a few years, I found it's even more than that. I think the magic of QLD, namely the Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast, are that people have such an active lifestyle. They're outside in the sun, warm weather, out surfing, hiking through rainforests, swimming in freshwater creeks, getting up early for a group meditation on the beach while watching the sunrise. There's a zest for life. And doing these things naturally goes hand-in-hand with having a healthier mind. So many of my friends are entrepreneurial, insanely clever and talented, following their hopes, dreams, aspirations. And we all support eachother and lift each other up. It's just a much different energy to the rat race that is Sydney, the expectation to have a house and a fiancee by 25, to climb that corporate ladder even if it means throwing your neighbour down on the way. I was an 18 year old girl getting on the train to go home at Town Hall, and being shoved by grown ass men trying to get on the train before me. I'll take an açai bowl on a Sunday morning in Burleigh after Sunday Stillness over that any day. 

​

Anyway, back to the life story that I'm now reassessing should actually be an introduction to a whole ass book instead of just an "about me" on my website. Hm. So I was always drawn to the Gold Coast, and said to myself "if not now, then when?". Then it all happened within two weeks. Life just flows beautifully when you make decisions from your inner desires, instead of your logical mind. 

​

I was still working in the travel industry, and then COVID happened. Which, as shitty as it was, was actually a divine miracle in disguise for many of us. I quit my job. And asked myself "if I know I'm meant to be a spiritual leader, speaking on stages around the world and writing books, then what's the next step?" and that answer was a Life Coaching course. So I signed up. 

​

To be continued.